AnnaBanan’s Blog

Step Into My Mind…

Once Upon A Mattress… March 21, 2009

Filed under: Love and Relationships — annabanan @ 9:10 pm
Tags: , , , ,

mattress

So I saw a play today at GCC called “Once Upon a Mattress”. I went with Eva and two of her friends from school, they are really great girls and I enjoyed their company. It was actually a musical and it was pretty funny. It was like one of those fairytale stories of princes and princesses and the evil lady which was the Queen. The Queen would make it really difficult for the prince (her son) to find a princess that was “princess” enough to marry. Unless the prince got married, the whole land of people could not marry. So everyone was obviously very eager to find a princess for the prince and finally, obviously it all works out in the end and it is “Happily Ever After”.

So I was just wondering what you all think of this concept of “Happily Ever After”? I just wanted to hear some opinions…because I feel as if this world brings a lot of sorrow and trouble; it seems pretty difficult to have a happy ending. What is love all about anyways? I like what someone said once that love is not about a person giving you good feelings, sometimes love doesn’t feel so good. It actually takes a lot of work, energy, effort, and tears. Are we a generation that is fooled to believe that if a person is not perfect and doesn’t always make you feel good, then they aren’t the person who you should be with?

Even in the Christian community, it is saddening for me to see so many people just jump from one relationship to the next. What’s up with that? It seems as if Christians do not hesitate to get rid of their significant other the second something goes wrong. And they have no problem showing public displays of affection, but two months later they are broken up and with someone different. I don’t know, is it just me who thinks that it’s crazy or have you guys noticed it too?

Now, I’m not saying that you should stay with someone who you know logically and in your heart that will not work out. If you see a divorce in your future you should probably not pursue a relationship like that. And I admire people who are even on the brink of marriage and have enough guts to call it quits because they know it just won’t work. That takes a lot of strength and I am happy that people don’t just stay in a situation that is bad just because it is familiar. But my point is that I feel as if we have been raised to believe that a person must be perfect or at least make you feel good all the time in order to be considered as the “right person” for you to marry.

What are your personal beliefs about this topic? Do you feel as if you are ready to get into a relationship and are ready to face some difficult decisions and bad feelings in the process? I was so unaware of what I was getting myself into when I got into a relationship. Actually scratch that, I was very aware of what I was getting myself into. I felt ready as an individual and I knew who I was and what I wanted. I knew what to expect by seeing other couples whom I respected and looked up to. I learned a lot about relationships way before I got into one which is really good. But once you are actually in one and situations come up, it’s just different once it is you that is in the relationship.

I think people should prepare themselves in every way that they can before they get into a relationship and the ideal would be that you know the person as a friend for a long time before you get with them. That’s not always the case obviously, but I think it’s best. Even if you are friends for a long time, it takes effort to switch from friend to a romantic type of relationship. I mean, obviously the best thing is that you are best friends with your significant other all through your courting and marriage. I like what someone said that if you can’t see yourself being friends with the person you’re with, then you probably shouldn’t be with them.

I think people should have clear expectations of what they want in a relationship, what kind of person they want to be with, and to not place expectations on someone that you can’t keep yourself. Also, stop worrying about finding Mr/Mrs Right and focus on yourself becoming Mr/Mrs Right. You will find someone if God wills, i assure you…and when you do i recommend that you be ready…

So there is my opinion and my first blog post. I have a lot more to say on this issue and I’m sure it will come up again, but please feel free to dialogue about this, I want to hear what people have to say or even any questions that you have.

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3 Responses to “Once Upon A Mattress…”

  1. laurathearmenian Says:

    Hey nooby, it’s Laura. I just wanted to comment on your first blog. I think you make a lot of sense and I agree with you a lot. I recently realized something about the way people in our generation view love. They view romantic love differently then any other kind of love. When I ask people if they loved their mother, they all respond defensively as if it is a stupid question. I then ask them if their mothers always make them feel good. They say no. They say how they sometimes hate their mothers behavior, but they would never for a second say they hated their mothers. I ask them why they think they can’t have that same kind of love for their future spouses. That’s when they usually draw a blank or make an irrelevant remark. But I’ve noticed that people think that romantic love is some bizarre weird kind of love, that doesn’t include the regular love you have for family and friends. Obviously, there is something more within a romantic love that is not in regular love. But I don’t understand how you can say you romantically love someone if you can’t say you simply love that person regardless of romance. It takes hard work and effort to maintain a healthy and loving relationship with your parents, why do people think marriage is going to come without the same amount of work and effort, if not more. Well anyway, those are my thoughts on the situation.

    • annabanan Says:

      You make a very good point. It definitely is different but really, the struggles are going to come. You are going to spend your time most with your spouse and they are going to see you in ways that others do not, so you are bound to see the imperfections…I think people should be aware of this reality as ridiculous and obvious as that sounds.

  2. anahid02 Says:

    “stop worrying about finding Mr/Mrs Right and focus on yourself becoming Mr/Mrs Right.”

    So true! I guess another way of saying this would be to stop looking for a godly man/woman, work on your own character & become a godly man/woman yourself first.

    We’re not living in a fairy tale, & we’d have to be pretty naive to think that everything will be perfect for the rest of our lives with whoever we marry. You don’t just meet someone one day, fall in love the next day, get married on the third day, & live happily ever after. I think Disney’s Enchanted does a good job of showing this “battle” between the two worlds.


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